Fishing at Strawberry

Just a few years ago TJ's dad (Poppy, around these parts) started catching kokanee salmon while fishing at Strawberry Reservoir.  He tells us "it's a disease" - he has become fairly focused on catching all the kokanee he can.  Last year he put a decent chunk of money into outfitting his boat so that he can catch even more kokanee (and now I feel like every time I eat one of those delectable fillets of fish I'm eating the most expensive fish of my life).  Poppy loves fishing and we really love Poppy, so we asked if he'd take us up to Strawberry to join him in the chase.  We went up on July 5.

Nanny and Poppy - saints that they are - took the boat up on the fourth of July and slept overnight at the lodge so they'd be ready for us as soon as we made it up July 5.  In spite of our intentions to leave at 5:00 we pulled out of the driveway at 6:00 and arrived to the lake right near 7:30.  As we drove slowly through the parking lot, trying to remember where to go, we heard Reed exclaim, "Nanny!"  He was, in fact, the only one of us that saw Nana standing in the parking lot as we passed her.  That boy has some great eyes!

We spent a gorgeous morning out on the water, trying to figure out the perfect trolling speed (1.5 mph), the best depth for the lines (they seemed to be biting between 20-30 feet, though the fish finder never saw them at those ranges), the right lures and scents and spots on the lake.  We had a great time and even pulled in a few kokanee (well, I never did  - I refused to pick up the rod when there is a valuable fish on the line as I nearly always lose them).  Reed got to pull in three cutthroat (we don't trust him with kokanee either ;) and seemed excited about that, but bawled when we had him go back for a picture and the fish flipped right next to him - that was unforgivable behavior from the fish.

Each time we drive up to Strawberry I am blow away by the beauty.  And it's so close to home.  God is an incredible artist.

So grateful for this family of mine and for Nana and Papa who spoil us all rotten.

HOME

We are home. 

From where I sit I can hear Reed with TJ. They are reading Reed’s new book from Holland: she knows him well, as it’s a book about a digger. He is calling out the truck noises as TJ narrates the story, Holland sleeping on her crib in the next room. 

My body aches but my heart throbs: it is overflowing with love. I’m so glad to be home to my baby boy. I’m so grateful to have the best imaginable partner by my side, meeting my every need. Together we are thrilled to welcome this sweet little girl-a girl!-to our family. 

We are home.

Perfectly Imperfect Present

On Tuesday night, after Reed had gone to bed, TJ was on his laptop working on our finances as I cleaned up the pile of books Reed had spread across the family room.  Reed was getting sick, TJ was still getting over a cold, and we were both tired, when he said, "ASU is a no go."  Just like that.  Just that quickly. 

TJ applied for a doctorate program at ASU on December 1st and with their estimated notification timeline of "four weeks" we have been anxiously waiting to hear whether we'd be accepted.  He's kept his email open for months, watching for the email that would tell us yes or no: are we moving?  Is he leaving his job?  Are we totally switching career paths?  As we've thought and debated and prayed about our future, we've truly believed that this doctorate program is the right place for us: it's only 2.5 years, it is relatively close to home and our families, and it's by far been the most captivating topic TJ has seen for what he'd like to both study and teach.  We've felt really good about the program and the path it would lead us down to help TJ become a professor.  So we were both surprised and disappointed to find out he wasn't accepted.

Yesterday felt a bit bleak to me.  In addition to the letdown about ASU, we're all feeling a bit sick, the weather is miserable, this pregnancy is just plain hard, and TJ had a busy day at work followed by a long night at school.  I was rocking sick Reed in the glider when there was a knock at the door, then a ring at the doorbell.  I virtually never answer the door when I'm home alone, so stayed in the chair, reading about trucks and cranes and trains when I noticed the car didn't leave the driveway.  I checked my phone and saw a message from Sunshine Floral, that they were at my house with a bouquet for me if I was home.

It's a perfect bouquet: purple tulips and yellow lilies, and other bright and happy flowers I don't know the names of.  I set them in the middle of the island and greedily opened the card, anxious to see what message sweet TJ had sent.  It was a simple note, just one line: "How could life get any better?" 

Tears came to my eyes then - as they do now - thinking about how perfect things are right now, imperfect though they may be.  We have a rich, meaningful marriage and we both know that our spouse cherishes us: what a rare blessing.  Every day we smile as we watch this darling little boy - our son - laugh and learn and play with us.  Inside my belly I feel a new little family member kicking and punching and digging in to my ribs, and we're less than fifty days from meeting him or her.  We have fantastic families and rich friendships and good health.  Our cupboards are full, we have cars in the garage, a warm home during these storms, good books to read, and money to spare. 

I know there are hard days ahead.  Pregnancy is still wearing on me and the long nights are getting a little rough.  My hands are bleeding from washing them after all this nose wiping and poor Reed is sneezing his brains out. 

But I'm really not sure life could get any better.  It is rich and full and it's ours, and things don't get much better than that.

This Dad is Super Rad

Last year I saw a picture online of a baby wearing a shirt that said, "My dad is super rad."  In spite of searching online to purchase one for our baby, I could never find one.  I was delighted when one of our neighbors dropped us a pile of clothing they were done with and it included that shirt I had so wanted!

On Saturday morning, I woke just after 6:00 when my alarm went off: the zoo opened at 7:30 that day, and I thought it would be the perfect time for the three of us to get up there with few crowds and great weather.  As I went through Reed's clothes I realized I finally had an occasion for him to wear long sleeves.

The three of us hopped in the car and, when Reed started getting fussy, TJ jumped out of the passenger seat at a red light and ran around to sit in back next to him.  As I looked in the rear view mirror and watched him holding Reed's hand and listened to him talk with him, his voice soft and tender, my heart turned gushy and filled right up with love.  As I drove I thought about what a great dad TJ is: my mind ran through memory after memory and sweet feeling after feeling about these last four months.  This guy that I am so lucky to call my husband is an amazing dad.

TJ is the glue that holds our family together.  He is patient and loyal and kind and his heart seems to have endless reservoirs of love and compassion that he shares so freely.  He comes home from work each day and gives Reed (and me!) a big kiss.  He plays with Reed, laying next to him on the ground, helping him with his toys, reading him stories, watching the latest and greatest tricks Reed has learned.  When we go out for walks it seems Reed is always done in his stroller halfway through and TJ picks him up and carries him home, sometimes from quite a distance.  Reed's bed is on TJ's side of the bed and TJ soothes him in the night when he wakes crying: TJ is often the one to swaddle Reed when he gets tired and patiently hold his binky in while he falls asleep.

In every prayer, TJ thanks Heavenly Father for this beautiful little boy who is our son.  

And in every prayer I thank Heavenly Father for this wonderful man who stands by my side, actively engaged in our family.  

 

My Number One

Yesterday at church we had a lesson about marriage.  The teacher asked the class, "What are some of the things you're doing to keep your marriage strong?"  I love that he asked that question, I loved hearing class members' responses, and I've since been thinking about some of the things we do.

Jeffrey Holland, when he was president of BYU, gave a speech titled "However Long and Hard the Road."  (You can read the whole thing here: it's one of my very favorites).  In it, he says:

"No one would wish a bad marriage on anyone.  But where do we think 'good marriages' come from?  They don't spring full-blown from the head of Zeus any more than does a good education...or a good symphony.  Why would a marriage require fewer tears and less toil and shabbier commitment than your job or your clothes or your car?"

TJ and I both feel like we have a fantastic marriage.  We have had loads of fights, shed lots of tears, and quite a few sleepless nights working through things.  But we keep working through things.  If we were to summarize the motto we strive for in our marriage, and in our parenting for that matter, it's "Be deliberate."  I feel lucky every day that TJ and I are equally committed to a strong, loving, fulfilling marriage.

So, to answer that instructor's question, we do things like sit down weekly (most weeks) and discuss not only our schedule but also our goals and what we want and need to work on.  We pray together every day.  We talk.  We hug and kiss and text and make dinner together in the evening.  We verbalize our love and adoration and support over and over and over and over again.  We go on dates.  We go to classes.  We go to church.  We go on vacations.  We take evening walks together, holding hands.  We watch General Conference together.  We ask the other what we can do for them.  We show physical affection.  We go out of our way to notice and thank each other for the things we see them doing for us.

Since becoming parents the way we spend our time each day has shifted: there is a whole of time and effort and energy that goes into raising little Reed.  Frankly, that shift was one of my biggest worries in preparing for his arrival.  I feel an immense desire to make sure TJ always knows that he's my number one: my very top priority.  Reed will one day move out (can't think about that right now), and when the kids are gone I want my marriage with TJ to be more satisfying and beautiful than ever.

What sorts of things are you doing to keep your marriage strong?  Or, if you're not married, how do you strengthen other relationships in your life?